MY GOD! IN A WEEK IT WILL BE MY 69TH BIRTHDAY
I AM ENTERING MY 70TH YEAR.
TICK-TOCK! TICK TOCK!
I came to terms with the idea of death some time ago—not that I had much choice in the matter—but I guess, like most people, I have some concern about the manner of my dying.
That said, the example of Jo Curran, who I helped to look after when she was dying of cancer two years ago, set the bar, for how to comport yourself under such circumstances, high. She displayed extraordinary courage and humor right to the very end—when she killed herself under the Death With Dignity Act. I’m not planning the same thing (though who knows) but if I can display a fraction of her courage, I shall be content.
The surprising thing, as far as I am concerned, is how much I am enjoying my advanced years (despite all kinds of difficulties). I really didn’t expect that. However, there is a great sense of freedom attached to becoming largely indifferent to material possessions, and the exhilaration and sheer joy of ideas and writing has to be experienced to be understood. But it means I start every day with a sense of excitement and purpose which stays with me until I fall asleep again. True, it sometimes flags when I’m tired, or have a setback, but it never deserts me completely, and I normally bounce back after a relatively short period.
Do I have regrets? Yes, I have many, but I don’t think of them much. Firstly, thinking about what might have been doesn’t accomplish anything constructive (unless the purpose is creative) and, secondly, most actions I took—whether right or wrong—when reviewed in the context of the time, are understandable.
Does that mean I’m letting myself off the hook? No—but it does mean that I believe that I have better things to do than to repine.
Enough of introspection and back to the saga of my screenplay—a much more interesting topic. Well, here’s the thing. It appears that I am succeeding in adding to the significant content while shrinking the length.
I am pretty damn thrilled.
You know that would make one hell of an epitaph.