Saturday, July 19, 2014

July 2014: Andy Rooney on women over 40

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Timothy Leary

FILE - In this Aug. 23, 2011 file image taken from video and provided by CBS, Andy Rooney tapes his last regular appearance on “60 Minutes” in New York. CBS says former "60 Minutes" commentator Andy Rooney died Friday Nov. 4, 2011 at age 92. (AP Photo/CBS)

This is hilarious. I’m surprised I haven’t run across it before. Given the extraordinary number of attractive women over 40 who seem to be around these days, I would say—if anything—it understates the case.

"As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

“A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

“If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting...

“Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

“Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

“Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

“Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

“Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

“Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.

“Ladies, I apologize for all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”

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