THE STORY SO FAR: PART 182

WARRIOR AND SON—STAFF SERGEANT SEAN KEOUGH. A SALUTE TO HIS MOTHER, MRS. KRIS KEOUGH

MY APOLOGIES FOR AN OMISSION

When I wrote about Staff Sergeant Sean Keough’s courage some time back—which resulted in his being awarded a Silver Star—I made a major omission. Sadly, his parents are now divorced, and I forgot to mention his mother. My mistake, and one I regret deeply.

The achievements of a son reflects well on both parents. I was reminded of this truth when his mother, Mrs. Kris Keough, wrote to me to thank me for honoring Sean (whom I have known since he was a difficult teenager). I guess the word “difficult” is redundant in such a contest. Let’s put it this way: He was showing character and promise in his own idiosyncratic way—and he certainly delivered.

I have scant idea how to compensate for my errors in judgment. Arguably, the best thing I can do is repeat his citation. If you think about what was involved, and over such an extended period, his conduct was, indeed, awesome.

Acts of courage are always praiseworthy, and should be admired, but courage over a prolonged period is in a league of its own.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Army Ranger of 2nd Battalion Receives the Silver Star

In a rare public appearance for a tightly-knit special operations unit, awards were presented to members of the 2nd Battalion, 75th Rangers, home based at Joint Base Lewis-McChord in Tacoma, Washington.

One Ranger, Staff Sergeant Sean Keough, received the Silver Star for action against Taliban insurgents during a raid on an enemy compound last autumn.

Leading his squad, Keough saw one of his fellow Rangers shot and fall wounded, still under fire from the enemy. Keough placed himself between the fallen soldier and the enemy, returning fire in order to provide cover for other members of the unit who administered aid and retrieved their downed teammate.

Keough and another Ranger shot an insurgent who attacked them, but he received a gunshot wound to his arm. Despite his wound he remained in place, still delivering effective fire at the enemy while his squad radioed for a medevac.

The attacking force regrouped but Keough refused medical aid that would interfere with his mission, and directed and participated in attacking and overrunning the enemy compound eight hours later. He also received the Purple Heart for his wounds sustained in action against the enemy.

The award was presented by Lieutenant General John F Mulholland, commander of the US Army Special Operations Command. In addition to Keough, the battalion received two Valorous Unit Awards for operations in Iraq and Afghanistan in summer 2005. Seven Rangers received the Bronze Star Medal (‘V’) for actions in combat, and five received the Soldier’s Medal for heroism in a non-combat role for rescuing two stranded climbers on Mount McKinley (Denali) in Alaska, in addition to 17 who received the Purple Heart, among other awards. During this latest deployment, four Rangers and an attached junior officer were killed in action, and many wounded, including 30 as a result of the explosion of an IED.

Since October 2001, the battalion has deployed 14 times and conducted over 2500 raids. It is preparing for its 15th deployment.

Posted by Nicholas Darkwater at 12:09 PM

The figures quoted in this citation are worthy of both consideration and admiration. They reflect an intensity of combat that is practically inconceivable. “14 deployments—2,500 raids?”

Consider the stress and violence of just one.

I am a professional writer, and I just do not have the words to pay adequate tribute to such ongoing courage. Let me salute the entire Keough family.

 

 

THE STORY SO FAR: PART 177

MY SISTER LUCY—SHE OF THE KEEN VISUAL EYE & SENSE OF WHAT TOUCHES A NERVE—HAS DONE IT AGAIN

I wrote yesterday—with some passion—about the travails of writing, and the need to keep going regardless. Hard to overstress the importance of sheer, unadulterated perseverance. That made me think about other outsiders who have questioned the status quo, been proven right again and again, yet have been rejected by “the system.”

Several are my friends and stem from both the arcane world of counter-terrorism, and from the military. All have risked their lives in the National Interest, and done outstanding work in their respective fields.

Their offense has been to refuse to conform intellectually (they have followed the rules of their particular organizations)—so the system has rejected them. Being right is not considered an adequate excuse. Having achieved significant results in defense of National Security is also no justification. The strength of the system lies not in its effectiveness and integrity, but in its ability to benefit those who go along to get long. Typically, it protects an elite, and those who want to be part of that elite.

“The system,” a mindset rather than a monolith, is nonetheless something which pervades the American Way of Life. Given the authoritarian nature of this money driven corporate/government world we have created, and now seem to accept in place of democracy, we should probably not be surprised. It is underpinned by a careerist mentality which puts self-interest before the mission, self-advancement ahead of the public good. It is almost entirely lacking in social concern. Though it is clear that many are unhappy with it—perhaps even a majority—it remains dominant in our society. Why not, indeed, it controls the levers of power.

Have the rejected turned into “beautiful people” as explained in Elizabeth Kubler Ros’s memorable observation (see above). Not quite, based upon my experience—unless one takes a very charitable view of beautiful people—but I have to say her general principle is not only true, but beautifully expressed. Adversity does, in many cases, breed understanding and compassion. Unfortunately, it can also breed bitterness.

Do beautiful people really exist? Yes, they do, but they are also flawed and human. That is part of their charm.

 

 

 

 

THE STORY SO FAR: PART 176

“MARCH OR DIE”—OR DO I MEAN “WRITE?”

JUST REMEMBER: IT MAY WELL BE A LONG MARCH

My beautiful sister Lucy’s web site has once again produced an admirable graphic. She must be telepathic.

Sometimes I think that everybody can write, but what stops most people is the amount of stamina required. We are talking years, at best, and probably longer. Of course my comment about everybody being able to write is not true—a great many people can scarcely construct a coherent paragraph, let alone write a 400 page book, but I am just saying it to emphasize that making a living from writing requires more endurance than you can imagine. And the number of people who believe in you may shrink to a frighteningly small total. The good news is that all you need is one. The bad news is that you may not have even that—unless, and until, you are financially successful. Becoming a good writer, in the critical sense, does not cut it because we—such value being part of our current cultural norms--are conditioned to regard financial success as the only determinant. True, it is important and useful—but, it is not, and should not be, the sole standard by which we judge achievement.

People will support almost anyone doing anything for a limited time—frequently without understanding it—but they get very exasperated when months stretch into years; and their support evaporates and tends to be replaced by frustration, irritation and anger.

Why so? Because most of us live corporate or government manipulated, structured lives which are divided into predictable bite-sized bits within the context of short time frames. Pay is generally predictable—as long as you have a job, which you can lose if you step out of line—and comes every couple of weeks or every month. Accordingly someone who is prepared to wait for years for an uncertain payoff is considered both irresponsible and arguably insane. And he or she is certainly different—and different is not considered to be good. People are uncomfortable around you. They wonder what you do all day—suspect it has to be something dubious—and marginalize you. If nothing else, you are the antithesis of the corporate/government mindset—so your very existence threatens the status quo. You really need to be put down—literally, metaphorically; or both..

Welcome to my writer’s world. Is it worth it? Many would think not. I can’t think of anything more invigorating. Do I mind the setbacks, the judgmental attitudes, the negative comments and the criticism?

What I mind is irrelevant. I just know I have got to continue. I guess, if we were talking about religion, we would call that faith—and perhaps it is.

My heart goes out to my fellow struggling writers—and all writers, whether successful or not, struggle. Hang in there! You may have no immediate support, but you are not alone. I doubt you give a damn. You have writing.

 

THE STORY SO FAR: PART 170

“5 TOP REGRETS PEOPLE HAVE AT THE END OF THEIR LIVES”

The above headline is the title of a fascinating piece in the e-magazine Alternet by Susie on February 15, 2013.

Alternet is a Left Wing publication which tends to be prone to excessive headlines—in my judgment—but which still publishes some truly thought-provoking articles. I check out about 20 publications with some regularity, and Alternet is one of them.

In this case the writer was commenting on a book by Bonnie Ware, an Australian palliative nurse who recorded her extensive experiences of the dying in a blog and then went on to write a book called THE TOP FIVE REGRETS OF THE DYING.

Needless to say, it immediately made me wonder what regrets I will have as I lie on my deathbed waiting for Father Time to wield his scythe (if I have the luxury of time to contemplate my life before it is terminated) so I read on with interest. Had I made the same mistakes as everyone else—which seemed highly likely—or what?

What I found surprised me and made me feel decidedly better about some of the decisions I have taken. Of course I have regrets—one can always do better—but the following list is, mostly, NOT applicable in my case, though I do wish I had tried harder to keep in touch with friends (and I have tried).

In particular, despite many difficulties, I followed my dream—which was to become a writer.

I give thanks every day that I made that decision and had the fortitude to execute it against formidable odds. In truth, I am still facing considerable difficulties, but am not persuaded I should give up writing.

The following is the list of regrets that, according to Nurse Bonnie Ware, people have at the end of their lives. They are well worth thinking about. I was particularly struck by the phrase in Regret 2: “The treadmill of a work existence”—doing something every day which fundamentally you hate. If that is the best we can do as a society, we need to change—soon, and drastically. It cannot be good for either the individual concerned, or society as a whole, for people to be be made miserable by their work. It also cannot be good business.

As it happens, I love my work—writing—with more passion that I can put into words. As a consequence I feel both fortunate and privileged . However, the transition from conventional business to a writing career was extremely difficult, and did not happen by accident—and the life, itself, remains financially insecure.

I guess we all make choices and have to live with the consequences.

 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

 

 

 

THE STORY SO FAR: PART 163.

THAT EVER ELUSIVE GOAL—SUCCESS.

A TRIBUTE TO A FASCINATING WEB SITE, BRAIN PICKINGS.

Once a week, each and every week, the web site Brain Pickings—run primarily by the redoubtable Maria Popova-- comes up with a fascinating mix of comments and quotes of the kind you feel you should know if you are to regard yourself as a reasonably civilized and sophisticated human being—which, of course, you know you are.

The Brain Pickings web site team of Maria Popova (see illustration—though she was a little younger then) focuses heavily on concepts and related disciplines like “creativity” and “writing” so, needless to say, I have been drawn to the site like a cat to catnip. My hope is to be enlightened, educated, and stimulated by the many words of wisdom contained in each post, and—you never know—such accidents could happen.

Meanwhile, I have to confess that much of the material that Brain Pickings likes to quote—with which I should be intimately familiar—is really not. However, in the interests of retaining my dignity, I try and disguise that fact.

The following is a fairly typical Brain Pickings piece.

9 Rules for Success by British Novelist Amelia E. Barr, 1901

"Genius is nothing more nor less than doing well what anyone can do badly."

The secret of success – like its very definition – remains amorphous and forever elusive. For Thoreau, it was a matter ofgreeting each day with joy; for Jad Abumrad, it comes after some necessary "gut churn"; for Jackson Pollock's dad, it was about being fully awake to the world; for entrepreneur Paul Graham, it's about purpose rather than prestige; for designer Paula Scher, it meansbeginning every day with a capacity for growth. But perhaps, above all, success is about defining it yourself.

Still, those who have succeed – by their own definition, as well as history's – might be able to glean some insight into the inner workings of accomplishment. From the 1901 volume How They Succeeded: Life Stories of Successful Men Told by Themselves (public library; public domain) comes a wonderful essay by British novelist Amelia E. Barr (1831-1919) who, the despite devastating loss of her husband and three of their six children to yellow fever in 1867, went on to become a dedicated and diligent writer, eventually reaching critical success at the age of fifty-two.

At the end of her essay, under a section titled "Words of Counsel," Barr offers nine tips for success, echoing some familiar themes – Tchaikovsky's insistence on work ethic over inspiration, Ray Bradbury's case for perseverance in the face of rejection, the importance of having a good routine and working with joy, and the necessary reminder that success requires a deliberate investment of effort and good writing takes time.

1. Men and women succeed because they take pains to succeed. Industry and patience are almost genius; and successful people are often more distinguished for resolution and perseverance than for unusual gifts. They make determination and unity of purpose supply the place of ability.
2. Success is the reward of those who "spurn delights and live laborious days." We learn to do things by doing them. One of the great secrets of success is "pegging away." No disappointment must discourage, and a run back must often be allowed, in order to take a longer leap forward.
3. No opposition must be taken to heart. Our enemies often help us more than our friends. Besides, a head-wind is better than no wind. Who ever got anywhere in a dead calm?
4. A fatal mistake is to imagine that success is some stroke of luck. This world is run with far too tight a rein for luck to interfere. Fortune sells her wares; she never gives them. In some form or other, we pay for her favors; or we go empty away.
5. We have been told, for centuries, to watch for opportunities, and to strike while the iron is hot. Very good; but I think better of Oliver Cromwell's amendment – "make the iron hot by striking it."
6. Everything good needs time. Don't do work in a hurry. Go into details; it pays in every way. Time means power for your work. Mediocrity is always in a rush; but whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing with consideration. For genius is nothing more nor less than doing well what anyone can do badly.
7. Be orderly. Slatternly work is never good work. It is either affectation, or there is some radical defect in the intellect. I would distrust even the spiritual life of one whose methods and work were dirty, untidy, and without clearness and order.
8. Never be above your profession. I have had many letters from people who wanted all the emoluments and honors of literature, and who yet said, "Literature is the accident of my life; I am a lawyer, or a doctor, or a lady, or a gentleman."Literature is no accident. She is a mistress who demands the whole heart, the whole intellect, and the whole time of a devotee.

9. Don't fail through defects of temper and over-sensitiveness at moments of trial. One of the great helps to success is to be cheerful; to go to work with a full sense of life; to be determined to put hindrances out of the way; to prevail over them and to get the mastery. Above all things else, be cheerful; there is no beatitude for the despairing.

   Apparent success may be reached by sheer impudence, in defiance of offensive demerit. But men who get what they are manifestly unfit for, are made to feel what people think of them. Charlatanry may flourish; but when its bay tree is greenest, it is held far lower than genuine effort. The world is just; it may, it does, patronize quacks; but it never puts them on a level with true men.

   It is better to have the opportunity of victory, than to be spared the struggle; for success comes but as the result of arduous experience. The foundations of my success were laid before I can well remember; it was after at least forty-five years of conscious labor that I reached the object of my hope. Many a time my head failed me, my hands failed me, my feet failed me, but, thank God, my heart never failed me.

For more of history's timeless wisdom on writing, see H. P. Lovecraft's advice to aspiring writers, F. Scott Fitzgerald's letter to his daughter, Zadie Smith's 10 rules of writing, Kurt Vonnegut's 8 keys to the power of the written word, David Ogilvy's 10 no-bullshit tips, Henry Miller's 11 commandments, Jack Kerouac's 30 beliefs and techniques, John Steinbeck's 6 pointers, Neil Gaiman's 8 rules,Margaret Atwood's 10 practical tips, and Susan Sontag'ssynthesized learnings.

TRUE GRIT

Image via Wikipedia

"Eight Portraits of Courage! We need room for a Ninth."

Department of Courageous People, & Death With Dignity

I spent the latter part of yesterday afternoon in a meeting. Its purpose was the notarizing of various documents to do with a truly remarkable woman who I shall, for the moment, merely refer to as 'A.' She is a friend, a neighbor whom I have grown to respect and admire. 

She is only in her sixties. She has had an astonishing life. 'A' is not the initial of her first name. I have chosen it because it stands for 'Adventurer.' 

She is, as we speak – bar a miracle - dying of cancer; so the meeting was mainly to do with her will and what she wanted done if she was rendered incapable: 

“Pull the plug!” conveys the essence of her message.  

The affair could have been tense and generally miserable. In fact, it was surprisingly cheerful, largely thanks to A’s vibrant personality – despite her pain – and the presence of another remarkable woman, B., who happens to be the condo president. It also went on much longer than expected because the notary got stuck in traffic.  

I felt very peculiar when I was asked to witness A.’s request to obtain the medication necessary “to die with dignity.” I was brought up a Catholic and to believe that life is sacred. On the other hand, if your cancer is so pervasive and severe that your death is certain within weeks, and your pain unimaginable, don’t you have the right to determine the time and manner of your passing?

I have no doubt at all but that you do. 

I signed willingly; but inside I confess I just wanted to cry. I still do. Death is as normal as sunrise; but we need all the people of courage that we have. Sadly, the world doesn’t work that way.

Today, I feel a true mixture of emotions; but dominating all is a sense of real hope about the human condition. 

We seem to be remarkably inept at the political level, but down in the weeds, where real people live - and die - there is true grit.